The Wedding
by ears
Summary: Part I: Surprise! Part II: Jane and Homer. Part III: Luna, Paul and Cindy. Up soon: Part IV:Groomsmen, ColdFeet, Predictions &BackUpPlans. Just who is Vinny and Greg? Will Hermione get married? Will Mrs. Weasley be fooled? Will Harry ever come out with
1. Surprise

**THE WEDDING **

**_Part OneSURPRISE!_**

Six years after the end of Harry, Ron and Hermione's days at Hogwarts something rather unexpected and expected happens and that is where this begins...

Just kidding, now first off, we need to introduce the wonderful main characters:

Ronald Weasley, yes The Boy Who Lived and Defeated Voldemort's Best Mate. Ron now manages his Twin Brothers Financial Situation at there popular joke shop, Weasley's Wizard Wheezes. Ronald also enjoys chess and kicking Muggles arses at it on his days off.

Harry Potter, The Boy Who Lived and Defeated Voldemort is now an Ex-Auror. Harry was just sick of always chasing the bad guy and being thrust into the spotlight, no matter if he brought in Bellatrix Lestrange or took a shit. Harry now avoids popular society and enjoys gardening, long walks... wait a minute, hold on a second, we are not putting an add in the personals here! Harry is mainly a recluse who sticks to his close circle of friends.

And now, the Female member of these three:

Hermione Granger, Hermione is a researcher at the Ministry of Magic. For the past three years Hermione has been working on a Top-Secret Project with a Foreign Researcher, whom she has also dated, since six months into the assignment.

The Foreign Researcher, Paul A. Smith is from the United States and five years, Hermione's senior. Not much is known about him prior to three and a half years ago. Neither Harry nor Ron like Mister Smith, but tolerate him for Hermione's sake. To Harry and Ron, it seems as if he is hiding something.. what or why is their humongous question.

One evening as Harry and Ron are sitting on Harry's back porch drinking lagers, Hermione hollers from in the house, "HARRY! ANYONE HOME? RON?"

"WE'RE OUT HERE, HERMIONE," Harry yelled back, "GRAB A LAGER IF YOU LIKE."

"WILL YOU GRAB ME ANOTHER?" Ron's voice followed.

A minute later Hermione appeared on the porch with two bottles of lager in hand and sat next to Harry at the picnic table, passing one of the two bottles to Ron.

"What brings you out of the lab, Hermione?" Harry inquired.

"What! I can't come visit my two best friends on a weekday?"

"No, Hermione and I'd say you came to visit Harry, not me, this is his house."

"And you live above his garage, Ron."

"So! That doesn't mean your automatically going to find me here, I may be at work or in my flat!"

"Right, Ron, we all know you can't cook and don't stock up on food much, so you eat at Harry's and spend much of your time, at Harry's or with your female "friends.""

Harry coughed something that sounded suspiciously like 'Fuck buddies.'

"So and sod off, Harry! I don't see you getting any action."

Ron and Hermione both stared at Harry.

"What?"

"Harry, is there something your not telling us, mate?" Ron inquired, amidst Hermione snickering.

"Bloody Hell RON! NO, I am not gay, stop trying to set me up with your friends!"

"Your trying to set him up with your male friends, Ron?" Hermione asked.

Ron nodded.

"Why can't Harry be a bachelor if he wants, we have years to procreate. Oh, and by the way, I'm getting married in three months, Paul proposed last night."

"WHAT!" Ron screamed while Harry stared at her mouth opening and closing wordlessly, before remaining open in shock.

"Paul proposed last night and I accepted."

"HERMIONE! WHY? I mean, you haven't even lived together yet, and you know barely anything about him outside of work, he doesn't even speak of his family."

"How would you know, Ron?" She retorted.

"Because you've told us! Me and Harry, we both know you've complained about knowing hardly anything about him! Why, Hermione, why?"

"Why, what Ron?"

"If you get married, he's bound to want to move back to the United States. We'll lose you! OUR BEST FRIEND, Harry and I will crumble without you!" Harry still sat with his mouth gaping in shock.

"Look at Harry! He's falling apart even thinking about you being gone!"

"Oh, Ron! You'll be fine and Paul has no intention of moving back to the United States. He said he wants to settle here."

"That could be a problem, Hermione, Harry lives here."

"Ron!" She chuckled, "Not on this exact spot, you prat, just in London."

She turned to Harry, "Are you okay, Harry?"

Harry nodded, his mouth still wide open.

"Good, because I have a favor to ask of both of you.. as you well know, I don't have many good friends who are female, so.. instead of a female Maid of Honour and bridesmaids. I'd like both of you instead, will you both please?"

"On one condition, Hermione," Ron replied.

"What's that?"

"Harry and I get to pick out our own dresses."

"RON!" She exclaimed, "You won't be wearing dresses, you'll be wearing black suits."

"Who's Maid of Honour, then?" Ron retorted.

"Harry, will you be my Maid of Honour?"

Harry nodded, still open mouthed in shock.

"Harry, are you positive your okay?"

Once again he nodded, though this time he swallowed as well.. which had to have been uncomfortable, given his state of open-mouthedness.

Hermione glanced at her watch, "Oh. Well, I best be going, I'm meeting Paul for dinner, Cheery-o."

And she apparated away.

Harry finally closed his mouth and drained the last of his lager before following it with Hermione's barely touched one in one gulp.

"Whoa, whoa, hold on there, mate, just think it could be worse, she could have eloped."

"Thanks a lot Ron," And he grabbed Ron's lager as well, draining the bottle.

"Hey!"

"I bought it and I WANT TO WALLOW IN MY OWN MISERY!"

"Harry, you do realize your a happy drunk, right?"

"Thanks a lot for killing my fun Ron, NOW SCRAM!"

"You sure, mate?"

"LEAVE ME ALONE, RON."

"Fine, I'll go owl Bill about a hangover potion for tomorrow, bye mate."

Harry waved him off, stumbled into his kitchen and brought out his bottles of firewhiskey to drink himself into a thoughtless stupor.

Two and a half bottles of firewhiskey later, Harry layed passed out on his kitchen table.

AN: This is the temporary edit.. because if my beta sees any big problems then I'll be up with the edited version. I leave Thursday.. and I'm not sure where I'll be from then on. So updates maybe infrequent.

ears

oh yeah, my yahoo group's address is: may be the only way I can post this summer.. not sure just yet though.


	2. Jane and Homer

Part II: Disclaimer: Names are from the works of: J.K. Rowling, Shakespeare, Homer, The Simpsons, Renaissance Painters, Greek Tragedies... etc...

**Part II-Jane and Homer**

The next evening a very groggy, headache stricken Harry Potter woke up on his kitchen table, with a beaker and a not beside him.

Harry picked up the note and read it:

Hey Mate,

I nipped this from Bill this morning, yes, yes, thank your best mate! It's a hangover cure or pepper up potion, can't remember which, wasn't paying too much attention.. Luc was making the funniest faces! Oh yeah, you can floo Bill and ask if you like. One question mate.. how are you going to react when they get married?

_-Ron_

"Go and hang myself," Harry muttered aloud.

"Harry?" Called Hermione from presumably the front hall.

"BLOODY FUCK!" Harry said much louder then he meant to on seeing his watch read four

o' clock. Harry drained the beaker in one gulp as Hermione entered his kitchen.

'No smoke is coming out of my ears, so Bill obviously gave me a hangover draught, whoo!'

"Harry, your not ready yet?" She looked annoyed, as she herself was all decked out in a black dress and hair up in a huge clip on the back of her head, though a few strands framing her face.

'She looked gorgeous,' Harry thought, "Sorry.. you look.. wow! Amazing.. sorry, I'll got take a quick shower and get ready, thanks for going with me," Harry rambled.

"Harry, your the one going with me, remember? Paul's not good around muggles, and you offered, thank you again," and she kissed him on the cheek, before surveying the room, broken lager and firewhiskey bottles, a broken chair leg.. "Harry, what happened here... and whew you reek of firewhiskey!"

"Uh.. I guess I got a little carried away is all.. Ron and I uh.. had a shot contest... uh, I won... uh.. I think."

She shook her head, "Go get cleaned up... I'll fix your kitchen."

"No, I'll clean it later."

"Harry get going, we only have an hour."

"I'm going!"

As he left the kitchen he heard her saying the 'reparo' spell... presumably fixing his kitchen chair.

Fifty minutes later, the duo apparated to a reception hall fairly near to Hermione's parents' home. She didn't want to be stuck in a room full of dentists, family members and her parent's friends alone.. Harry's perfect to have as a reason she doesn't have to stay and chat with her Aunt Myrtle for too long.. They entered the hall, Harry in a black suit with a white shirt and a Gryfindor tie.

"Hermione! Harry, how are you?" Her parents greeted them.

"I'm well, Doctor and Doctor Granger," Harry replied as Hermione was hugging her parents.

"Did you accept Hermione's unusual request, Harry?" Inquired the female Doctor Granger.

"Yes of course, how could I refuse my best friend," Harry nodded smiling, though it didn't quite meet his eyes.

"Mum, Dad, you wouldn't believe how shocked Harry was! When I told him and Ron, I don't think he closed his gaping mouth for twenty minutes!"

"Well at least Ron's a good talker, Hermione! He can give the speech, rather then me."

"Harry," she shook her head.

"Congratulations on thirty years, was it?" Harry asked the Doctors' Granger.

"Yes."

"Thank you Harry."

"Now go mingle, your Aunt Myrtle was looking for you dear."

Hermione huffed as she and Harry walked away.

"Hermione dear! You've finally made it! Oh, this must be the fiancé! How lovely to meet you. Your parents said your wedding was soon, does that mean a little one is on the way, oh that'd be so lovely, someone to play with Antony at family gatherings," the older woman said all in one breath.

"Hello Aunt Myrtle, this is not my fiancé. Paul couldn't make it, this is my friend Harry," Harry smiled another fake smile, at the mention of Paul, "I am not expecting and Paul and I have set the date for three months from now."

"Oh dear, so little time to prepare, lovely to meet you Harry," Aunt Myrtle said in a sickly sweet voice, "When will you introduce Paul to the family?"

"Oh, when he and I both aren't busy, so probably just before the wedding."

"Oh dear, are you sure you'll have time to prepare?"

"My parents are helping, Aunt Myrtle, lovely to see you."

"You as well, Hermione dear and lovely to meet you, Harry." Harry smiled another smile that did not meet his eyes.

Harry and Hermione drifted toward the refreshment table, "Do you have a lot of family members named after characters from Shakespeare?"

"Hm, there's Romeo, Antony, Cassius, Brutus, Julius, Juliet.."

"Wait, there's a Brutus and a Cassius?"

"Yes."

"Then how do you explain Aunt Myrtle?"

"She married into the family."

"Oh."

"She's married to my Dad's brother, my Uncle Leo, who's real name is Brutus Leonardo."

"Ah, so now we're getting to Renaissance painters?"

"Yeah and then we have my Dad, Homer, and I have as Uncle Oedipus."

"Greek tragedies.. wait your Dad's name is Homer.. I thought his name was Mike?"

"Yeah, his middle name is Michelangelo."

"Okay, does Paul know about Uncles Brutus, Oedipus and so forth?"

"No, and I'm glad your not freaking out, that's comforting."

"Have you ever watched the cartoon, The Simpsons, Hermione?"

"I have and it's brilliant!"

"Has your Dad seen it?"

"He has and D'oh, he loves it." Harry laughed, "How do you think Paul will react though, Harry?"

"I don't know, and I don't know him well enough to judge," Harry answered shakily.

"If it was you, how would you react?"

Harry gulped, before answering slowly and sincerely, "How could anyone react badly to you?"

Hermione beamed at him with tears in her eyes.

"Especially because it's you, Hermione!" Harry paled.. 'did he reveal too much?'

"Thank you, Harry, that was very," She smiled shyly at him, "comforting."

"Uh.. Do you.. Would you like to dance?"

"But Harry! You never dance!"

"Well, I'm making as exception for you."

She beamed at him as he led her out onto the dance floor.

Watching the scene from across the room stood 'Mike' and Jane Granger, "Homie?"

"Not in public," He grinned mischievously, "Janie!" Jane replied by narrowing her eyes.

"Jane."

"Mike, look at them.. Do you think she's making a mistake?"

"I do Jane, I do. She's overlooking what's right in front of her, not recognizing or seeing that her best friend is stricken with love for her."

"Oh Dear! Do you think he'll ever tell her or will she have to make quite possibly the biggest mistake of her life to see Harry's love?"

"She may or.."

"She's pushed her own love for Harry away because she's given up on him despite his so obvious love for her?"

"True love, that may just be it as well, so many possibilities... but I think our daughter feels obligated now to Paul but also..."

"That her other best friend or Harry himself might just react badly to her admitting her deeply buried and heavily guarded feelings for Harry?"

"Yes, love, yes."

"I think we should hit the dance floor ourselves, what do you say?"

"I agree love."


	3. Luna, Paul and Cindy

**Part III-_Luna, Paul and Cindy_**

A week later, Hermione finally got a chance to stop at Luna's, Hermione went up the two flights of stairs and knocked on the door of flat number Two B.

"Hermione, what a surprise, come in."

"Thanks Luna, how are you?" Hermione asked as her eyes followed a bed head haired red head go from the loo to the bedroom.

"Is that Ron?" She asked in shock.

"Ah, yes, that is Ronald and do come in would you like some tea or crumple corned cake?"

"Ah, no thank you... so when did you and Ron start.. dating?"

"Three years ago."

"HUH?" Hermione's eyes widened as she fell onto Luna's couch.

"Yes, you and Harry enjoyed making fun of Ronald so much we decided to just keep it between ourselves, though I do believe Ronald is just afraid to tell his mother that her youngest son is engaged."

"REALLY!" Hermione exlclaimed, shocked again.

"Yes, for half a year now, Ronald really is a romantic, surprising me on a Hrumple Horned Snorkrack Expedition!"

"That's wonderful, when do you plan on getting married?"

Ron let out a girlish shriek from the next room.

"Or tell Mrs. Weasley?"

Which was followed by another shrill yell.

"Ronald is not enthused about telling his Mother especially.. after Mrs. Weasley's reactions to the marriage and weddings of Bill, Charlie and The Prat."

"Ah yes, it wasn't pretty. I was at all of those weddings but the Big-Headed Prat's."

"I don't think many were," Luna replied smoothly.

"Congratulations Luna and RON," She yelled the latter's name.

"Thank you, Hermione and Congratulations to you and Mister Smith."

"Thanks Luna, I have a favor to ask you.. well since you obviously know about Paul and I and Harry and Ron being bridesmaids.."

"You want me to be a groomsmen?"

"No," Hermione laughed, "Will you be my third bridesmaid?"

"Of course, but."

"But what?"

"Are you sure?"

"Of course I'm sure about you being a bridesmaid!"

"No, not about that, but are you sure you really want to marry Paul?"

"I accepted his proposal didn't I?" Hermione replied brow furrowed.

"You did, but are you sure.. your only twenty-four, are you really ready to settle down and do you really know that American? Have you met any of his family? Has he met yours?"

"He's met my Mum and Dad, but no I haven't met any of his relatives."

"Are you absolutely sure you really love and want to marry Paul? Are you spot on sure that he is the only bloke you ever want to be with ever again?"

"Luna.. I.. I said yes to his proposal didn't I?"

"Yes, you did, but remember, you can back out, you can still back out if you by chance realize he's not the one for you."

"Luna, what are you implying?"

"That my friend, you must find yourself."

"Okay," Hermione glanced at her watch, "Oh, thank you for accepting Luna, but I best be off. I'm meeting Harry for lunch."

"Have fun, I know I will, toodles Hermione."

"Cheery-o Luna." And Luna locked the door behind Hermione.

Hermione apparated to the Leakey Cauldron, where she was meeting Harry for Lunch. "Hello Tom," she greeted, "Is.."

"He's in Parlour number four, Miss Granger."

"Thanks Tom." Hermione walked through the rather empty bar and entered Parlour number four.

"Harry," she smiled, "Already ordered I see."

"Of course!"

"You know me too well!" she exclaimed sitting down, seeing the turkey sandwich and vegetable soup awaiting her under a warming charm.

He shrugged, looking down at his Fish and Chips.

She grinned at him before taking a bite of her sandwich. After chewing and swallowing she said, "You won't believe this! What Luna just told me."

"What? She won't be in your wedding?" He replied off hand.

"No, she accepted, but she and Ron are engaged."

Harry spat out the butterbeer he just took a sip of, "NO WAY!"

"They are and have been dating for.. you really won't believe this.. three years."

"Really!"

"So I was told, Yes."

"Wow, so all of those jokes about Ron were.."

"Completely false, nullified, untrue.."

"I get it, Hermy." She scowled, he smiled.

Meanwhile at an apartment in Diagon Alley, a man sat talking to a woman's head in his fireplace.

"Cynthia, it's going to be fine, it won't last more then three years and I'll divorce her and come back home."

"Bobby and Tanya miss you, Paul."

"I know Cindy, I miss them and you as well, don't worry, this girl will make she and I famous, we'll come out with a huge magical breakthrough, then I'll dump her, darling, she'll make us rich!"

"I know Pauly, but are you sure you really want to hurt the girl like this? I mean, hell nudge her in the direction of some other guy, then claim she was cheating on you and break off this sham of a relationship of yours and come home to your family."

"But I'm a failure, how can I come home no better then I left?"

"Paul, now I know you know that's not true and only your mother's talk, that your always a failure and a chump, but Robert and Tanya and I love you and your wonderful and always will be to us."

"Thank you Cindy, but my family.."

"To hell with them, WE'RE YOUR Family, me and your children."

"I know but.."

"Your nothing but a money fame hounding scoundrel is what you are if you go through with this you know that don't you, Paul?"

"I thought you were the one who was urging me to do this.. your the one who ordered, demanded that I go out with the brilliant but cold, Hermione Granger."

"I know, I did, and I can't believe she hasn't put out in two and a half years of dating you and isn't she always off to her friends?"

"Yes, she's always off to see Harry or Ron or so forth."

"Are you sure she's not playing you herself and fucking one of them?"

"She could very well be for all I know, but she's not good enough at keeping secrets for that. So how are the children?"

"Fine and they miss their Daddy."

"Have they shown any signs?"

"Yes, both Bobby and Tanya are magical, no squibs in this generation of Smiths."

"Good, good and I will marry you one day, my love, I will."

"Oh, you better or I'll show the world just how much of a scoundrel you are."

"Heaven forbid that happening."

"Heaven forbid indeed. Have you picked your best men for your sham of a wedding, Paulie?"

"Yeah, my brother Jimmy and my drinking buddies over here, Vinny and Greg."

"Has she met them?"

"Nah."

"Have you met her, maids of honor?"

"Yes and two are male."

"WHAT!"

"She's not too feminine and they've been her best friends since she was eleven."

"Hmm."

"Indeed, though I think her quote unquote Maid of Honor is either hung up on her or gay and just won't admit it."

"Hmm, who is it?"

"You'll never believe this sweetheart but, Harry Potter."

"No!"

"Yes."

"Wow, so your stealing away the great Potter's girl?"

"I am."

"Excellent!"


	4. The Groomsmen, Cold feet, Predictions & ...

**Part IV-** **_The Groomsmen, Cold feet, Predictions & Back up plans.  
_**  
A month later or six weeks before the wedding, Harry, Hermione, Ron and Luna are at Harry's.

"Hermione, did you find out who Paul picked as his groomsmen?" Luna inquired, she wasn't going to push Hermione on the possible mistake this marriage was in front of Ronald and Harry.

"Um, yeah.. his brother.. Jimmy and two of his drinking buddies.. Greg and Vinny.. and oh merlin, your not going to believe just who Greg and Vinny happen to be.."

"Who?" asked Ron.

"We went to Hogwarts with them... and they were in our year, Ron."

"I can only think of two people who's names those match, oh no Hermione no, who's he going to add next bloody Malfoy?"

"Harry, are you okay mate.. we were talking about sodding Paul's groomsmen, not Draco bloody Malfoy."

"No, Ron, I think Harry's figured out who Vinny and Greg were the lackeys of.."

"NO! Hermione, No! Not Crabbe and Goyle!"

Hermione nodded, "I'm afraid so, Vincent Crabbe and Gregory Goyle are his groomsmen."

"Hermione, I don't know if marrying this guy is such a good idea.. especially if his friends were Draco sodding Malfoy's goons at any time in there lives."

"Ron, come on, he doesn't know many people here."

"Hermione! He's been here for three bloody years!"

"I know."

"And he doesn't like your friends one bit, that's been made bloody OBVIOUS."

"What do you mean, Ron?"

"I mean, he's made no move to get to know Harry and I any better then those are Hermione's best friends."

"And have you made any moves to get to know him?"

"Hermione, you know we have, loads of times, right Harry?"

"It's true, Hermione, Ron and I have invited him out with us countless times."

"They have, Hermione," Luna added.

"I don't understand then.. why.. what reasons did he give for turning you down?"

"You, He was busy, already had plans, was tired.. and what's worse, is that many of those times, you were with us and he still said no."

"What can I say.. I guess he's a bit of a loner."

"A bit?" asked Ron incrediously.

"Yeah, like Harry."

"Huh.. how is he like me?"

"He doesn't like to go out much."

"But it seems he doesn't like to go out with you either or to just hangout with you or your friends," Luna added.

"Yeah, he doesn't like idle, nonsensical chatter."

"I guess that makes two of you."

"Oh, sod off Ron."

"Do you two ever stop? It's been thirteen bloody years!" Harry exclaimed, stopping the beginning of a debate that was sure to lead to another arguement before it started.

"Sorry, Harry," Ron and Hermione replied in unison sheepishly. Luna dreamily smiling at them all.

Two weeks later, Hermione is at lunch at her parents house going over the final preperations for her and Paul's wedding.

"Mum, Dad.. if.. if.. I call off the wedding.. will you.. will you be terribly angry?"

"Hermione, what's bringing this on?" Asked her Mother.

"I don't know, I have a bad feeling about this is all.. I ... I don't know if I even love Paul.. I feel as if this is a dead end... that this could be a fatal mistake for me."

"Oh, Hermy, your just getting cold feet, dear everything will turn out fine. Even if you did want to call off the wedding, your Mum and I will stand by whatever decision you make."

"Even if it's the day of the wedding?"

"Of course, darling! Your our daugther and we'll support you even if it's that day," Her mum laughed.

Meanwhile at Harry's house, Ron comes rushing in with a revelation, "HARRY! HARRY! TURN off your toobalision! Remember my prediction seventh year?"

"Which one?"

"The one about Hermione being courted by a Fraud, who no one knows much of anything about and it takes her till the day of the wedding to figure it out?"

"Uh," Harry's eyes practically bulged out of his head, when he realized just what Ron was getting at, "NO!"

"Yes, Harry, Paul is the mysterious stranger, who unbeknowest to uus is a lier, a fraud."

"Ron, I think we knew that first part.. that last part though... hmm.. that could yet be true."

"Oh, shut up, Harry, but what do you think? Luna agrees with my prophecy."

"I think you may just be a seer my friend, since all your crazy predictions seem to come true."

"What are we going to do, Harry? We have to save Hermione!"

"I thought I was the one with the people saving thing!"

"Shut up, Harry! Really, what do you think?"

"Get Luna over here, right now."

"Alright, I'll floo her." Ron grabbed a pinch of floo powder, threw it into the flames of Harry's fireplace, shouted, 'Luna Lovegood's and stuck his head into the flames.

A few minutes later, Luna too, was in Harry's living room.

"Luna, Ron... How would you like to 'possibly' get married in two weeks?"

Ron and Luna looked at eachother and smiled lovingly, before nodding in the affirmative.

"Excellent, give me the names of everyone you'd want at your wedding and I'll arrange everything.. oh, who would you like as bridesmaid and groomsmen?"

"Whenever Ronald and I've talked about getting married, we've wanted a simple wedding with you and Hermione standing up for us."

"Thank you, Luna."

"No, thank you, mate... even if it doesn't happen in two weeks, we still would like it nice and simple, not extravagent."

"Okay, now you two go have fun, leave the old man to do the work."

"Harry.. your younger then me and Hermione, out of the three of us, and your not that much older then Luna."

"Thanks for the clarification there, Ron, now get out of here!"

And Ron and Luna did just that.

AN: Hello, I'm back for a week.. can't walk very well.. because I screwed up my ankle/leg.. I just hope it's not broken.. I'm rather delirious on painkillers and lack of or to much sleep.. 600 mile car ride today. Hope you enjoy this chapter and please review. I WANT MORE PAINKILLERS BUT I'M NOT ALLOWED TO HAVE MORE THEN 3 IN 24 HOURS.. AHHH!


	5. 5Pt1One Down, One to Go

**Part V-Half #One_One Down, One to Go_**

Four weeks later, the day scheduled to be the wedding day of Hermione Granger and Paul Smith.

Harry is standing in the hall before the chapel entrance, when Hermione rushes - in a fury - out of one of the anterooms at the back of the church, straight to Harry.

"Harry, in about five minutes will you please get me the hell out of here?"

"What?"

"When I leave the chapel.. wait.. where's Paul?" She asked sickened.

"He just went into the church."

"Will you please hold this door open so I can make a quick getaway.. but close it when I come back through.. and I'm much too infuriated to apparate.. will you please, please Harry, apparate me to your place?"

"Uh.. okay.. why?"

"Wait and see."

"Okay."

Harry opened the door and Hermione rushed in right at Paul, "YOU FUCKING BASTARD... LYING FUCKING BASTARD!"

And with that she sent her right fist at his face followed by her left, then another right, before kneeing him in the groin.

As the bloodied "groom" collapsed to the ground Hermione declared, "This Wedding is off," before turning on her heel and walking out the door, being held open by Harry.

He slammed it shut behind her and apparated himself and his now single best friend to his house.

After arriving at Harry's, Hermione asked, "Harry, do you have any clothes I can change into?"

"Yeah, take whatever you want," He waved toward his room.

"Uh.. can you undo my back?"

"Sure," He smiled shyly and undid the back of her dress.

"Thanks Harry."

"No problem."

As she went into his bedroom, Harry took out the paper he had sent to all of the people Ron and Luna wanted at their wedding and muttered a spell which made the letter reveal it's true intention, stating the time and place of the Weasley-Lovegood wedding.

Now all Harry had to do was tell Hermione and give her the dress robes Luna and Ron had picked out for her, Harry's own were a dark green, Ron and Luna's black and white respectively.

Hermione came out of Harry's room dressed in a pair of his sweats and a t-shirt. "Thanks Harry."

"Not a problem, my friend.. now what in the hell happened? Why did you bloody Paul Smith up? And that groin shot, Ah," He winced.

"This!" She whipped out a letter, "From the bloody bastards children... HIS CHILDREN!"

"Kids? He has kids and didn't tell you?"

"Well, apparently he's been engaged to their mother, whom along with Paul plotted to marry me to gain fame and riches."

"BLOODY BASTARD! WANT ME TO KILL HIM?" He asked seriously. 

"Uh, no Harry. I think I've humiliated him and he can go home the same way he left. I've written my letter of resignation for the project, sent it off before I bloodied the fucker up."

"YOU, you resigned? But Hermione! You've put so much time and effort into that bloody thing! What are you going to do now?"

"I'll go back to researching," and she ripped the engagement ring off her hand, "Harry, let me borrow that for a sec," She snatched his wand and muttered a spell that ripped the ring apart into billions of pieces.

"Hey, please put the shards of metal in the trash bin, I don't want to end up with bits of the Jackasses' ring in my foot."

"Okay," she magically sent the ring into the waste bin in Harry's kitchen, before handing him his wand back.

"Thanks."

"Now, break out your firewhiskey, I want to get bloody well pissed!"

"Uh.. not now, Hermione.. I have something to tell you and you'll need to get ready."

"And shit! I have to find a place to live.. what.. get ready for what?"

"You can move in here.. or to the flat above my garage."

"What.. Ron lives above your garage.. what do I have to get ready for?"

"He's moving out after he gets back in two weeks.. or you could move in upstairs.. since as you bloody well tell me all the time.. my house is basically empty... and I live in the den."

"Harry... where's Ron going for two weeks?"

"On his honeymoon with Luna."

"What! Did they elope?"

"No.. there getting married in two hours.. I kind of set up a back up plan," He said nervously.

"What.. why? How did you know something like this was going to happen?"

"Remember Ron's prediction seventh year.. about you?"

"Yes.. and.. oh Merlin.. it came true.. he was bloody right!"

"That he was.. we now see."

"You planned his wedding as a back up plan to mine! Why?"

"So you wouldn't bloody well get pissed.. and your Luna's maid of honor, your robes are in the bag in my closet."

"Wow Harry! Was this going to happen if I got married?"

"No.. this was my back up plan.. and Ron and Luna agreed. Mrs. Weasley is in for a surprise."

"Wow Harry! I can't believe you sometimes.. how come you did this.. so I wouldn't possibly get pissed?"

"Well.. remember, before your parents anniversary party?"

"Yeah, that was the night after I told you and Ron about me and the bloody bastard."

"Yes.. well, Ron and I did not have a shot contest.. I got bloody pissed."

"Why Harry?"

He took a deep breath, "Because I was distraught you were getting married."

"Harry, why?"

"Oh Merlin..." He closed his eyes and took in a breath, letting it out slowly, "Because I'm in love with you."

Hermione's eyes bulged and her mouth fell open in shock.

"I know, I know, it's unbelievable and you don't have to return my feelings or take pity on me and all, I know you just broke up with you fiancé at the.. well in the church.. I'm sorry for telling you.. I won't act on my feelings, okay?"

"HARRY! SHUT UP! Why didn't you ever tell me before?"

"Uh.. I was scared and you were with Paul.. etc."

"Harry, Harry, Harry, you stupid git!"

"Huh.. aren't you going to explode at me now?"

"No, I'm not, but in the next month: YOU ARE EITHER MAKING ME DINNER OR TAKING ME OUT.. you insecure git!"

"What your.. um.. asking me out now? What in the world, why? And of course I will!"

"Because Harry, I've been in love with you forever, or that's what it seems like, sometimes."

"Really?"

"Yeah.. I thought you didn't return my feelings, so I conceded to dates with other fellows.. and agreed to marry Paul when he asked. If you had told me anytime within the past three months, three or seven years, what you just told me, Paul and I or any other guy, would have been over before anyone could say a word."

"Wow, I really have been an insecure git.. but what did you really expect.. you and Ron know me better then anyone!"

"That you'd show some signs so I'd know if you did or didn't return my feelings."

"Oh, sorry, I just buried them, thinking, you'd never return mine."

"Wow, I'm really glad the bastard's kids sent me that letter. And yes, I will move in here, thank you, Harry, shall we sign up a lease?"

"Why bother, I don't need any money, like Ron, you can stay as long as you like."

"Thank you, Harry, but... what if I want to stay forever?"

"That can be arranged.. but if we start dating.."

"Things could get interesting and we may just want to kill each other from time to time?"

"Yeah," He nodded.

"Harry... I may need some time to get over what happened this morning... but I'll move in and will date the friend I've loved for as long as I've known you, at least subconsciously."

Harry blushed brilliantly.. "You... you should get ready."

"Okay.. but what about you?"

"I'll do so when you're done."

"Where is Ron's wedding?"

"The Burrow. I had it set up when you were changing before. The Weasley's don't know because Ron's taken them out to lunch, Luna is getting ready. Don't worry; they haven't seen each other since yesterday."

"Harry, you know I don't believe in superstitions."

"Right.. so Hermione five billion, Divination three?"

"Three?"

"Trelawney's two prophecies and Ron's.. and I shan't recall all of his, so he's only getting the one I recall clearly."

"Oh, Harry," She shook her head and went back to his room.

**ANfOR POSSIBLY THE NEXT 3 MONTHS! **

**Okay.. yes.. even if J. K. Rowling says otherwise in book 6.. this will still be finished.. I just haven't had the energy, time or patience to write the latter part of this chapter.. okay.. I wrote the next paragraph after this but that's rubbish so far.. and this just seemed like the perfect place to stop.. oh okay.. it's as far as I sent my beta.. If your reading this on this is also posted on my yahoo group.. but it doesn't matter where you read and review.. is easier, and then you don't have to get approaved by me and my moderators who have no idea what we're doing. **

**And Once again, in all scenarios that I see at the moment, I will not be able to post till the fall.. if that situation changes.. well you'll have an update before then. The next part may be the last part.. but I'm thinking it may go past the wedding of Ron and Luna... though I'm rather at a loss as to how to continue after the wedding... if anyone has any suggestions.. drop me a line... **


	6. The rest of Part Five

(MAYBE UNBETAED.. maybe not.. maybe half betaed maybe half not.. just here's a chapter so you won't all kill me.. well the other half of part 5 ).. okay IT WAS BETAED.. Pre HBP..

Harry and Hermione apparated to the Burrow thirty minutes before the wedding, Hermione went off to find Luna, while Harry directed the traffic of incoming guests.

Two Hours later, the crowd of friends and family is ushered around to the back of the Burrow, where the reception would be held.

Harry had contracted Dobby the House Elf to set up the area and Dumbledore and the Hogwarts' House Elves to cater the food. Dumbledore was all too happy to contract out some of the Hogwarts' House Elves, as well as Dobby for the day, Harry also gave Dumbledore's brother, Aberforth, a job as barkeep for the reception as well, even though before the day neither had an idea of what would occur this lovely Saturday evening.

Once everyone was seated Ron, who was sitting at the head table, before the dance floor, between Harry and Luna, stood up to address his crowd of wedding guests.

"Sonorus," He pointed his wand to himself, "Wow! If it wasn't for Harry here and Hermione there, we certainly wouldn't be here today! I'd like to thank Harry for, well planning Luna and my wedding and in a month no less! I'd like to thank Professor Trelawney of Hogwarts for not realizing I have the sight, how do you like them apples, Granger?"

"I like them just fine, Lovegood. No offense Luna."

Ron laughed, "I'm really glad Hermione left that... what would you call him, Hermione?"

"Fucking Bastard!"

"Yes, I'm glad Hermione left that bloody bastard at the alter, Hermione, shame on you for swearing in front of children!"

The crowd laughed.

"They can't hear me."

"I forgive you Granger, you believe in Divination, now?"

"Shut up, Ron!"

"Okay, okay, well, I'm the happiest bloody bloke in the world today! I love you, Luna, and Mum and Dad and Mister Lovegood, Don't kill us! We dated for three years before I proposed a few months back. Harry where are we going on our Honeymoon?"

"I'm not telling, Ronniekins."

"Fine then! Now, let's TUCK IN!" Food magically appeared on the tables and his guests did as they were told and started to eat.

After the food disappeared from the tables, Ron once again stood up and did the sonorus charm, "Now, I'm thinking it's Harry's turn as best man to give a speech."

Harry stood up, put the charm on himself and greeted the crowd, "Hi, I'm glad you could all make it on such short notice...If Hermione had just cancelled her wedding a bit sooner." He said as he rolled his eyes toward Hermione who sighed and smacked her palm to her head.

"Shut up, Harry," she interrupted.

"Sorry, Hermione, bad attempted joke, I know. Obviously you can all see Ron's a much better talker then myself, I mean how else could he shovel all that food down his throat," laughter from the crowd of guests, "Ron, Luna, I wish you all the best and a long and happy life together, I love you guys! To Ron and Luna!" The crowd toasted the bride and groom, as Harry launched himself at them in a hug.

"We love you too, Harry," Ron laughed at his male best friend, "Hermione, would you like to explain the events of this morning?" She shook her head in the negative.

"Okay, then. Harry, what's next?"

"The cake."

"Excellent, shall we, my love?" Ron asked turning to Luna.

The newly married couple went to the cake, cut it and shoved pieces into each others mouths, before letting Dobby the House Elf dish out the cake to the rest of the wedding guests.

After cake, the disc jockey stood up, with what appeared to be a muggle microphone and said, "Congratulations Ron and Luna! Luna, you always had the best hats at Hogwarts Quidditch matches and Ron, I'm wondering.. Did you ever figure out how to stop a Quaffle? Eh, McGonagall! Remember this? That's a bloody foul! Bastard!" Mcgonagall just looked at the former Quidditch announcer and member of Gryfindor house with an amused expression.  
  
  
  
"I'd like to thank Harry, for pulling me away from the wireless network for one day to do the music for my best mates - who made the Greatest escape in Hogwarts History - little brother's reception. Now come on Ron and Luna get on the dance floor and you two, Harry and Hermione, Mister and Mrs. Weasley, Mister Lovegood, find a partner and get out there! Oh, yeah! Wait Everyone but Ron and Luna sit out this one, let em' have there first dance as a married couple!" Said the still dread locked Lee Jordan.  
  
  
  
  
  
After Ron and Luna's dance, Lee called out Mrs. Weasley and Mister Lovegood to dance with their respective children.  
  
  
  
After the parent/ children dance, Lee called out the wedding party and parents as well as Mister Lovegood, who found a partner in Bill's three year old daughter, Marie.  
  
  
  
After another dance with his new wife, Ron and Luna waltzed over to Harry and Hermione and cut in, Luna now with Harry and Hermione with Ron.  
  
  
  
"Hermione, can I ask you something?"  
  
  
  
"What Ron?"  
  
  
  
"What happened this morning with bloody Smith?"  
  
  
  
"I got a letter from his children.. HIS CHILDREN!" She emphasized, earning stares from other dancers in the vicinity.  
  
  
  
"No! He has kids?"  
  
  
  
"Yes and is engaged to their mother."  
  
  
  
"BLOODY HELL! Want me to kick that bastards arse?"  
  
  
  
"No Ron, I did that this morning and Harry wanted to after I told him."  
  
  
  
"So did Harry confess to you?" Ron asked.  
  
  
  
"You know, if we hadn't… We... I mean you would have an enraged Potter on your hands."  
  
  
  
"So... FINALLY! YES!"  
  
  
  
"I told him, he must take me on a date within the next month and I'm moving in with him."  
  
  
  
Ron gaped, before realizing himself and saying, "So soon? Boy are you moving fast, just what did you do this morning after Harry apparated you away?"  
  
  
  
"Get your mind out of the gutter, Weasley! We haven't even kissed."  
  
  
  
"You've kissed him on the cheek before."  
  
  
  
"That hardly counts, Ron!"  
  
  
  
"Hem, Hem," came two voices as one behind Hermione, "May we cut in, my little bro? We wanna dance with the kick ass chick who crashed her own wedding."  
  
  
  
"And bloodied the supposed though not in actuality groom," Fred and George spoke continuing the others sentence and started to dance with Hermione.  
  
  
  
"So I'm a kick ass chick now, eh boys?"  
  
  
  
"Yes, you are.."  
  
  
  
"After that fantastic display at that arses expense."  
  
  
  
"You always knew he was an arse?" She asked the twins.  
  
  
  
"O' course.."  
  
  
  
"We did."  
  
  
  
"So I'm now a kick ass chick and I thought you'd always consider me the annoying nosy prefect."  
  
  
  
"Oh, you were! And you forgot bossy."  
  
  
  
"Don't get us wrong but.."  
  
  
  
"After todays display.."  
  
  
  
They resumed in unison, "Your a kick ass chick."  
  
  
  
"Well, thank you, ever devise any new jokes that need my expertise, just owl or floo me, got it?"  
  
  
  
"Will do.. but where will we floo you at?"  
  
  
  
"You gave up your flat!"  
  
  
  
"I'm moving into Harry's."  
  
  
  
"So you and Harry, eh?" asked Fred.  
  
  
  
Hermione smiled, "Yes, actually… someday... maybe soon."  
  
  
  
"I knew it!" said George.  
  
  
  
"Then I wish you'd told me when you knew it."  
  
  
  
"And miss all the fun of both of you falling all over each other! I think not."  
  
  
  
Hermione laughed, "The two of you are great now that we're all grown up."  
  
  
  
"And mature!" said Fred, while George added, "And wiser."  
  
  
  
"Sure we are," Hermione said sarcastically.  
  
  
  
"We are!"  
  
  
  
"Can I cut in?" Harry asked the twins, though transfixed on Hermione.  
  
  
  
"Of course, Boy-who's-in-love," they laughed in unison, as some mellow, romantic music began.  
  
  
  
"I was just interrogated by the twins and Ron. Harry, they know and have known what we've finally admitted, plus I explained about bloody Smith to Ron."  
  
  
  
"Well, I was just questioned by Luna and Fluer and they are overjoyed, Fluer cried even!"  
  
  
Hermione smiled, "I'm glad their happy for us, and how is Fluer?"  
  
  
  
"Glowing at six month pregnent."  
  
  
  
"Well that's good!"  
  
  
  
"For sure, I'll have to congratulated Bill, if I ever find him."  
  
  
"And I'll have to find both of them.. Marie is adorable!"  
  
  
  
"That she is, that was so sweet! Her dancing with Mister Lovegood."  
  
  
  
"It was..."  
  
  
  
"Ah, is Harry getting mushy?"  
  
  
  
"I really would've if you'd married Paul. I probably would have moved to Antarctica and let a polar bear eat me."  
  
  
  
"Well, I'm glad I didn't. You're my best friend, Harry and I NEVER want to lose you."  
  
  
  
"And you won't." And their lips met in their first kiss.  
  
  
  
It was now twilight and as their lips met, fireworks went off, they broke apart in shock as a dragon breathed fire and shitted out blue blobs in the forms of pictures of Ginny Weasley.  
  
  
  
"ATTENTION! ATTENTION!" Fred and George were both speaking in Lee's microphone, "Hey break it up you two!" Fred and George said pointedly to the snogging Harry and Hermione.  
  
  
  
"These fireworks are in memory of our baby sister, Merlin rest her soul, who while on vacation in Romania after her final year at Hogwarts was eaten by Norbert the Norwegian Ridgeback and a day or so later shitted out. Thank you, now a moment of silence for Ginerva Molly Weasley," They launched off more Ginny shitting dragons and after a minute broke the silence of all the people, the fireworks exploding above.  
  
  
  
"Thank you all, and little brother, our Ickle Ronniekins, we wish you and Luna the best of luck and all the happiness you can stand," and they let off another set of fireworks, which exploded in the dark sky saying, "CONGRATULATIONS RON AND LUNA!"  
  
  
  
"How did you know?" Ron asked in shock.  
  
  
  
"Harry told us, brother dear."  
  
  
  
"When?"  
  
  
  
"A month ago, he wanted something grand for you and Luna. SO HERE IT IS," around the 'Congratulations' erupted hundreds of Weasley's Whizbangs.  
  
  
  
"And you didn't tell?"  
  
  
  
"Of course not, little bro, you may be a prat at times, but we knew Mum would go ballistic."  
  
  
  
"Thank you, now where is that Potter?"  
  
  
  
"Off in the woods with the Maid of Honor," Bill laughed, which cracked the Weasley Brothers' and Luna up.  
  
  
  
Authors note: My beta says:Bout time they got lost in the woods together! I am continuing this story.. previously this was going to be the last chapter... but I'm going to turn this into a four weddings and a funeral story.. so two weddings down, two to go.. and one funeral.


	7. Pt 6

Beta said this was a go... July 12th..

The Wedding-Part Six  
  
Three years, eight months, and six days later, "Ron, can I ask you something?"  
  
"Anything, Harry, but I can't promise I'll give you a good answer."  
  
"Great," Harry replied sullenly.  
  
"Well, what did you want to ask me?"  
  
"Oh gosh, uh, crap, urgh..."  
  
"Harry... that's not a question and half troll talk and you very well know, I do not speak troll."  
  
"Sorry.. I'm nervous, okay!"  
  
"Why?"  
  
"Um.. Ron.. would.. would it be okay with you.. um if.. I.. uh.. asked Hermione to... MARRY." He croaked, "me?"  
  
"Really, are you serious? Have you gotten the ring? Have you asked her parents, you know, threre the ones you should be asking, not me, most definitely not me."  
  
"I know that, Ron! I.. I'm just really, quite.. rather nervous about asking them and terrified about asking her."  
  
"Why ever so?"  
  
"There dentists, Ron! Have you ever seen some of that dentistry equipment, it's right scary!"  
  
"Can't say I have.. what's dentistry and a dentist?"  
  
Harry shook his head, "Dentists are Doctors who look after your teeth, fill in your cavities and clean and flouride and drill your teeth as well."  
  
"What's cavities?"  
  
"Uh, a cavity.. know when one of your teeth.. uh hurts.. uh.. okay.. cavities are uh.. rotten teeth, no your teeth rotting, got it so far?"  
  
"Uh, huh."  
  
"Well, a dentist fills in your cavity with different tools and such, usually there's a bit of metal or something they fill in the rotten hole in your tooth with."  
  
"Okay, have you ever gone to the dentist?"  
  
"No, but from what I've heard, it hurts like hell."  
  
"Oh."  
  
"Ron... well you never answered my question.. Do you approave of myself asking Hermione to marry me?"  
  
"Harry, you and Hermione are my best friends, but.."  
  
"But what?" Harry questioned nervously.  
  
"But your a right stupid prat if you thought I wouldn't approave, now go talk to the dentists.. both of her parent's are dentists, right?"  
  
"Yes, Ron, and thank you mate! I could kiss you, but I won't, I love you!"  
  
"I love you too, mate, your the little brother, I never had. Now get to that dentists office or wherever. Oh and you hurt our best friend and I'll kill you."  
  
  
  
Three months later and Harry has yet to ask the dentists for their daughter's hand in marriage.  
  
'Deep breath, Harry, deep breath, breathe, in, out, in, out, good, you can do this, yes you can, just march in there and ask, it's easy, you can do it,' said the positive voice in his head, which sounded like his love.  
  
Another voice, more like his own said, "What if yhey don't like the idea, what if there against it? Can you handle that rejection?  
  
'Of course I can!' came the Hermione sounding voice in his head.  
  
'How can you be certain... can you really be sure? Look at all the rejections in your life.. can you handle this one for sure?'  
  
'I must,' came the voice like Hermione's.  
  
'Go ahead then, but don't come crying back to me if they reject you.  
  
'It's an If Harry, If they reject you and why would they do that, they love you!'  
  
Harry had now worked up quite a sweat with his internal monologue, but remembered he can do this, the worst thing that could happen is they say no, the best, they could very well say yes.  
  
They like you, there's no reason for them to say no, Just go, NOW.'  
  
And Harry pulled open the door to the Granger's dentist office and went in.  
  
"Harry!" Greeted Doctor Homer "Mike" Granger, who had been speaking to the receptionist, "What brings you here?"  
  
"Uh.." He cleared his throat, "Can I... May I speak to you and Dr. Granger?"  
  
"Of course, you can, she's in our office, come in, come in, your lucky we're not busy at the moment."  
  
"That's good sir," Harry followed Dr. "Mike" Granger to his shared office with Dr. Jane Granger.  
  
"Hello Doctor Granger," Harry greeted the female doctor.  
  
"Harry, what a pleasent surprise, how are you?"  
  
"Good, Ma'am."  
  
"So what brings you here, Harry?"  
  
"Um.. well, I uh.. have a question to ask you both."  
  
"Okay," said the male Doctor, "Fire away."  
  
Harry took a deep breath, "Well.. would it be okay if, I.. um.. I asked Hermione to marry me, Do you approave of me asking Hermione to marry me?"  
  
"Of course!" "Mike" exclaimed as Jane smiled happily.  
  
"Welcome to the family, Harry," Jane exclaimed hugging him.  
  
"I'm so glad it's you Harry, and not that arsehole Smith," "Mike" said as he too, hugged a surprised Harry Potter.  
  
"Now, get out of here and propose to our daughter," "MIke" pushed.  
  
"Good luck, Harry, don't worry, Hermione's going to be overjoyed."  
  
"Well, till next time, future son in law! We need to get to work."  



	8. Pt 7 Unexpected Invitations

Beta said this was a go.. July 12th..

AN: Was listening to: Bowling for Soup-A Hangover You Don't Deserve.  
  
The Wedding-Part VII-Unexpected Invitations  
  
Three years later, Harry Potter and Hermione Granger recieve an invitation to a very unexpected wedding:  
  
One evening, Hermione was going through the post.  
  
"Oh, Harry, Please cancel subscriptions to all wedding magazines, PLEASE! This is ridiculous..."  
  
"But.. won't we need them... we're not getting married for another two years."  
  
"Why don't we just elope?"  
  
"How many people are we inviting agaon?"  
  
"Too many, I think we have half the country on our guest list. Harry, did you hear what I said?"  
  
"I did... but I don't want your parents to kill me.. they.. and Ron almost did before I asked you..."  
  
"How many months did it take you again?"  
  
"Um.. almost a year since I asked Ron.. and six months after I asked your parents." \  
  
"Why were you so afraid?"  
  
"Well, look at how long it took me to even tell you how I felt... "  
  
"Well that's true. How in the world will you ever show up at the wedding?"  
  
"Um.. I was thinking video."  
  
"Ha, ha, very funny!"  
  
"Okay, Miss-Let's-Elope.. what do you suggest?"  
  
"We cut down the number of people and invite everyone to the reception."  
  
"That sounds good."  
  
"Why don't we just invite your parents and Ron and Luna.. okay the whole damn Weasley family.. what are there fifty of them now?"  
  
"Something like that."  
  
"We're invited to a wedding."  
  
"Who's?" Harry asked.  
  
"Uh.. To Mister Harry Potter and Miss Hermione Granger, You are cordially invited to the marriage celebration of Cho Talula Chang and Draco Augustus Black Malfoy, On April the fifteenth (year) at ... (blah blah church) and the reception to follow at the Chang estate in the East Gardans..."  
  
"Cho Chang and Draco Malfoy?" Harry asked puzzled.  
  
"Yes."  
  
"Why would they invite us to their wedding... I mean," he sputtered, "He hates us and she despises us."  
  
"I know Harry, this is insane, if it wasn't here in print and addressed to us, I'd think it was a mistake. But it's plain as day in Cho Chang's handwriting. Mister Harry Potter and Miss Hermione Granger."  
  
"How do you know Cho Chang's handwriting?"  
  
"The D.A list, same style."  
  
"Oh. ... And you studied it?"  
  
"Of course, to know everyone's names in case they betrayed us."  
  
"Ah.. and during our O.W.L. year?"  
  
"Shut up, Harry."  
  
"Why? Why ever should I?"  
  
"Oh, I don't know.. you don't want me sleeping in my room tonight do you?"  
  
"Are you threatening me?"  
  
"Why, yes."  
  
"Well, I guess I'll have to do something about that."  
  
"Will you now, what?"  
  
"This," and he kissed her.  
  
  
  
Ron apparated in admist this.  
  
"You know, this is really not something I'd like to see.. my best friends' tongues down eachothers throats.. great," He said loud enough for them to notice him and they sprang apart like two teenagers being caught by a parent.  
  
"What are you here for, Ron?" Harry asked glaring at his male best friend, as Hermione laughed at Harry's expression.  
  
"I'm here to invite you to a wedding."  
  
"Who's?" Hermione asked suspiciously.  
  
"Please not Draco Malfoy and Cho Chang's."  
  
"Why would I invite you to there's.. and why would they get married? You were invited to Malfoy and Chang's wedding?"  
  
"Yes," they replied in unison.  
  
"Are you going?"  
  
"We haven't decided yet," Harry said as Hermione said, "Probably."  
  
Harry looked at her.  
  
"What?" She asked.  
  
"We're going?"  
  
"Well, yes, they did go through the trouble of inviting us.. and finding our address.. I'm curious as to why."  
  
"Oh, okay."  
  
"There wedding isn't a week from Saturday is it?" Ron questioned.  
  
"No, why?"  
  
"Because you are invited to a double wedding."  
  
"A... double wedding.. why?"  
  
"Fred and George are getting married."  
  
"Oh."  
  
"Are you serious?" Harry asked.  
  
"No Harry, I'm not your godfather, but yes my twin brothers are getting married.. and by the way, Luna and I are expecting are first baby."  
  
Here begins the addition:  
  
AN: Was listening to: Green Day: American Idiot.  
  
His friends gaped at him.. Ron a father?  
  
"Your kidding!" Hermione exclaimed.  
  
"Not at all, I'm going to be a Dad!"  
  
"I fear for your child's safety with you, Ron," Harry said laughing.  
  
"Why?"  
  
"You can't cook even toast."  
  
"Your shite at heating charms," Hermione followed.  
  
"Shut up, the both of you. I'm going to be a brilliant father, just like my Dad. Well I need to go... and Hermione, Did you know Harry's supposed to have twelve children?"  
  
And Ron apparated away.  
  
"Was he serious, Harry?"  
  
"Nah, I hope not... just something Trelawnry said when Umbridge was observing her class. Trelawnry said I would be Minister of Magic and have Twelve children... it was just like her predictions of my death every week, a load of crap."  
  
"I wouldn't be so sure, my Dad is a triplet."  
  
"Are you kidding?"  
  
"No."  
  
"Oh, okay... How many kids do you want to have.. we've never discussed this before."  
  
"Hmm.. I'm not sure, why don't we start with one and go from there."  
  
"That sounds like a plan."  



	9. The End

_**The Big Spankin' Insanity of the End.**_

_Airport, somewhere in the desert. _

"We're going to do this right?" Harry asked.

"Well of course, we flew here didn't we?"

"Yeah, but I wasn't sure..." He was cut off.

"If I still wanted to go through with it?"

"Yeah and do you?"

"We came here for a reason, Harry, so lets do it."

"Okay."

_Two days later, back in London, England._

"Can you believe we did it?"

"It's pretty unbelievable, isn't it?" Harry asked.

"It is! How do you think everyone will react to the news?"

"Probably shock."

"Or they'll be shocked then say: FINALLY!"

"Yeah like..."

_Ottery Saint Catchpole... _

"Molly, NO, Don't look at the paper, NO!"

"OH MERLIN! They didn't, Arthur, please tell me they didn't? Arthur?"

"Molly, calm down, just stay calm.."

_Another place in London.. _

"Why was Hermione's paper delivered here.. it hasn't came here in years... OH MY GOD! LOOK, Darling, LOOK, LOOK!"

"Do you think there back yet?"

"Well, they better be!"

"Why?"

"So I can decide whether or not to pummel or kiss them."

'Mike' Granger laughed at his significant others antics.

_Somewhere in Magical London. _

"LUNA! LUNA! Did you see the paper? They did it! Can you believe it? After all that Merlin forsaken planning and they..."

"I saw love, isn't it wonderful."

"I know! I'm, I'm surprised Harry had the balls," and the rest of what he said was drowned out in Luna's laughter.

**Listening to: Flogging Molly-Swagger**

By noon Mike and Jane Granger, ALL the Weasley's in the area of the United Kingdom and various friends who knew of the location of the Potter-Granger, Granger-Potter, Potter Granger or Granger Potter, or Granger or Potter or Granger and Potter, maybe love nest, former bachelor pad, old folks home, half way house, hostel, low income housing..

Uh their place of residence..

Yeah..

Well their home... front hall, living room and kitchen, front porch and backyard is now over-run with expected, yet unprepared for guests..

And how in the bloody hell did the tabloids, eh hem, legitimate press..

Yeah..

Well, the "Daily Prophet" and a day earlier, "The Quibbler," (hid from Luna Lovegood-Weasley's husband..

Find out about what happened over the weekend? How? **HOW? HOW?**

A few well placed leaks..

Well outright..

Here you are..

Go ahead tell the world comments by Harry Potter or is it Granger and Hermione Granger or is it Potter.. or are they Granger-Potter and Potter-Granger? No one knows..

Do you the readers know? Do I the writer know? Do I? That's a good question..

Will the answer come soon?

Yes, hopefully..

And the exodus to the outside of the story will now end...

As Harry and Hermione replicated... oops! Wrong story, eh hem.. magicked pots and pots of coffee and tea for their abundance of uninvited, not so surprising guests, no one asked the big question, they all just stared or sipped their hot beverage..

Waiting, waiting, until the seemingly most unlikely person finally asked the question that all present were impatiently awaiting the answer, Neville Longbottom (the formally round-faced, clumsy boy, during Harry, Hermione and Ron's early years of Hogwarts) spoke up:

"Is it true? Is what the Prophet and.. what this weeks Quibbler say, is it true?"

"Luna, you knew?" Yelled out numerous upon more Weasley's then the ability to name quickly at Arthur and Molly's youngest son's wife.

Luna just smiled serenely at Harry and Hermione and nodded.

"Is the Prophet's headline correct, Harry?" Hermione asked Harry, completely unfazed.

"It is," Harry replied and total mayhem erupted over the Potter, Granger, Potter-Granger, Granger-Potter, who knows!

Chaos, just overcame their kitchen and it's adjoining rooms.

The Wedding passed in silence rather then with a momentous occasion.

The Aftermath and shock is what made all the noise in the press and the Granger-Potter, Potter-Granger, Potter or Granger household.

_**THE END!**_


	10. What would have been pts8, 9

_**UN-EDITED.. WHAT I CUT OUT, BETWEEN THE END AND THE PARTS BEFORE IT! **_

**Part IIX-_Double the Weasley Wedding. _**

**The Saturday of the Weasley Twins wedding arrived. "Hey Harry, Hermione! How goes the snogging and may I add, shagging?" **

**Harry laughed, Hermione glared daggers at Lee. **

**"Guess what! I'm the best man to two people! There's a feat, wonder if that's some kind of record and it's technically the same wedding.. I think.. Sweet!" **

**"So.. who are they marrying?" Hermione asked. **

**"Good question love, I never heard anything about any girlfriends or anything," Harry added. **

**"That's because they kept it quiet.. They don't seem like they can keep anything quiet, but they sure can. Well, when they want to, eh there, Harry?" **

**"They certainly can." **

**Harry looked around, as Lee and Hermione spoke, Ron approached his three former house mates, "What are you looking for, Harry?" **

**"Is there anything to drink around here?" **

**"Why?" **

**"Crookshanks stole my water." **

**"Crookshanks stole your water?" Ron asked, extremely confused. "Wait.. how can a cat steal your water um.. Glass of water?" **

**"He stuck his head in it and started lapping it up," Harry explained. **

**"Why didn't you get a new glass of water, then?" **

**"Didn't have time," Harry mumbled. **

**"Why not?" **

**"Quit while your ahead, Ron." **

**"Oh.. Oh.. Okay." Ron replied eyes widening. **

**"Ron, who are your brothers marrying?" **

**"Well, two of our former housemates, actually." **

**"Really, what year?" Lee asked. **

**"Yours," Ron replied. **

**"No! I thought they broke up years ago!" Lee exclaimed. **

**"Sp there marrying.." Hermione started before trailing off, trying to remember just who was in the twin year. **

**"So Alicia and Angelina, then?" Harry inquired. **

**"Bingo, mate." **

**"B-I-N-G-O and Bingo was his nameo," Hermione sang. **

**"What are you talking about, Hermione? Why were you singing?" **

**Harry and Lee crackjed up at Ron's lack of nursery rhyme knowledge. **

**"It's a childrens.. uh.. rhyme.. song.. barnyard song.. yeah, Ron," Hermione explained crudely, before breaking into laughter herself. **

**"Oh, okay. Why is that so funny?" **

**"Because," Harry broke into more laughter.. "You.." Even more laughter, "Were so..." A bit more then even before, "Clueless," and Harry finally laughed and caught his breath. **

**Ron blinked, "I'm off to find my wife, maybe she knows about this, Bingo." And Ron walked off. **

**Five Weddings minus One.. and a Double. **

_Part IX or for the laymen, Nine. _

The day of the Malfoy-Chang wedding arrived. Harry and Hermione apparated to the ministry for the ceremony.

They sat in the back. The wedding march started and Cho Chang was led down the aisle by her father, with her bridesmaids and Draco Malfoy's groomsmen proceeding her.

There were twelve of the above.. yes.. twelve bridesmaids in a whorrish pink color and twelve groomsmen in a wretched violet.

The Minsiter of Magic Rufus Scargoer presided over the ceremony.

---(Jenna.. I can't remember the idiots last name.. fix it for me please.. and I have no idea where the book is and don't really care too much.. hey it's not mine.. I'd rather read my five books I haven't touched since I started my job... to god-damn warped from it I say.)

"We are gathered here today for the union of Draco Lucius Black Malfoy and Cho Talula Chang.

_The Reception.. (Who really cares about Malfoy and Chang's wedding.. come on!) _

Harry and Hermione were seated at a table with the lovely crowd of the sneak, Marietta Edgecombe, Pompous Rodger Davies, Pug-faced Pansy Parkinson, the Gorilla's (Wait, that's an insult to gorrilas.. awesome animals they are), Vincent Crabbe and Gregory Goyle and the entire groups former Professor, the sneering Severus Snape.

"Harry, please remind me why we're here?" Hermione whispered into her fiancee's ear, in which he replied.

"I was hoping you'd tell me."

Both Harry and Hermione smiled uneasily at their table partners.

"Potter, Granger," Snape sneered.

Harry nodded at the Potion Master and Hermione greeted him, "How are you, Professor?"

Snape sneered, if it can be believed even more, "I am fine, Ms. Granger."

"Harry, Hermione! How are things, I'm head of Research at the Minsitry now, "Rodger greeted flaunting his title.

"Rodger, I know. You are my boss," Hermione replied with the slightest hint of sarcasm.

Pansy glared at the former Gryfindors.

Crabbe and Goyle looked confused at even sitting down.

Marrietta Edgecombe hid her face behind her baclava, seemingly still remembering the calmity she beset upon herself during her sixth year.

_--Listening to: Green Day, American Idiot. --_

The table of eight sat in relative silence during the dinner, most likely extremely overpriced and expensive due to the small potions of extravagent decorations of parsley and carrots.

The Best Man gave the most boring speech known to weddings as the orchastra backing up The Wierd Sisters and Celistina Warbeck tuned and the dancing began soon after.

The former Cho Chang danced with her father and Draco with his Mother.

Then came the Bride and Groom dance, followed by the entire wedding party.

After the dance of the entire congregation of Ushers, bridesmaids and the newly married couple the floor was open to all.

The Bride and Groom began to mingle with their guests and the awkward table of eight annoyances and death glares.. with two seemingly unawares occupents as well split up.

Hermione and Harry off to the dance floor, Crabbe and Goyle.. to who knows where.. off to get confunded by there fathers, perhaps?

The two-thirds of the Gryfindor trio that attended (and got invited to) this wedding his the dance floor, dancing a fast and slow song before, Harry leaned over.. in the pretense of getting closer for yet another slow boring Warbeck song and whispered, "Would you like to leave?"

She nodded in the affirmative and the two were on there way through the labirynth of tables, when the seemingly most unlikely person called there first names. Wow, he knew them!

"Harry, Hermione! Thank you for coming! How are you?"

"Oh, urm.. we were actually just leaving.. Mal.. Draco, it was a lovely wedding. Thank you for inviting us."

"Why are you leaving?" The newest Malfoy inquired.

"Hermione isn't feeling well."

"Oh, that's too bad! What ever is the problem, Hermione, dear?"

"It's her head," Harry said and Hermione said, "Stomach.

"So which is it?" Draco Malfoy asked.

"I have both a head and a stomachache."

"How dreadful!" Cho exclaimed.

Hermione nodded with a look of pain, before laying her head on Harry's shoulder.

"Congratulations of you marriage, Draco and you as well, Cho. The both of us wish you the utmost happiness," Harry implied sincerity.

"Why, Thank you, Harry and Hermione, you as well."

"Thank you," Hermione said quietly.

"Have a good evening, Hermione and Harry," Cho said in parting.

"The two of you as well," Harry replied.

And the two couples.. neitehr seeing much of anything eye to eye ever, parted ways.

Draco and Cho Malfoy to greet their guests and Harry and Hermione to a nice, quiet eveing of peace and respite from the society of the Malfoy's and Chang's at home.


End file.
